


Impossible Things

by Rose_de_Noire



Series: Welcome To The Tea Party [2]
Category: Alice in Wonderland (Movies - Burton)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-15 23:55:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10559868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_de_Noire/pseuds/Rose_de_Noire
Summary: This is the continuation of Buttons and Top Hats, so I'd advice you read that one first! ^.^As before, this work is complete on my computer and will be posted in the span of a few days.Otherwise just have fun, please!





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

Ilosovic’s biweekly reports had morphed to biweekly tea parties with the queen and everyone else he and Tarrant called friends and family.    
It had never been specified and never been officially changed, but after over a year no one even blinked an eye when they met in their garden instead of Marmoreal.   
  
Today though, several things were different.   
Tarrant had been called to the palace in the morning to fit a new hat for the queen and the two of them had not yet arrived for tea. 

Ilosovic was seated with Mallymkun, Thackery and Briar at the table, Ragnar nearby.    
They’d been in deep conversation - well Thackery not so much unless one counted his rather one sided discussion with his favorite teapot - when suddenly Mally on Stayne’s shoulder went stiff as a board and he could feel her hasty breathing against his ear.   
Briar growled and answered Ilosovic’s question before he could even ask.    
“Someone’s coming.”    
  
“From the Tulgey Wood.” Added Mally and pulled her small sword while Stayne reached for his blindman’s cane.    
  
“Oh my,” Briar stood up, flank pressed against Ilosovic’s leg while she sucked in deep breaths, scenting. Ilosovic wondered who’s scent elicited the protective gesture.   
  
Mally suddenly tugged on a strand of Ilosovic’s hair and exclaimed, “shukm!”   
  
“That is a nasty word to use, Milady.” Stayne teased, but his voice sounded slightly unnerved. “But pray tell, what’s going on?”   
  
“It’s Alice,  _ the Alice _ .”   
  
Stayne was suddenly part of the unwelcome, unsure anticipation and stated, “I hope she is not armed, our sword’s inside and she does not know that I’m rehabilitated.”

Not to mention his fear that Tarrant might choose her once more, should she demand it.

Ilosovic shook his head, Mally reaching for the strap on his vest to hold onl as the strand of grey hair was yanked from her grip.    
“There’s nothing I can do but sit here and wait. Everything else she might take as an attack.”   
  
The dormouse bristled, he could even feel her wielding her little sword. “We goin’ to defend ye, dontcha worry lad!”   
  
Stayne should probably not feel as reassured as he did by Mally’s words, but as Thackery heartily agreed - “always too late for tea!” - he relaxed a bit more, taking a secure grip on his cane while Briar hopped up on the chair beside him.   
Stayne carefully turned his head away from the approaching Alice - he couldn’t see her anyway - but made sure one of his ears and the shoulder with Mally perched on it were still facing her.   
  
“Stayne?” The consternated voice reached him and he turned his head, making sure to not turn his eye towards Alice. He’d learned that people took it as proof of his blindness if he didn’t ‘look’ at them.   
  
Mally tugged harshly at his hair and informed him, “she has a stick!” Then she greeted Alice. “Why hello Alice! You won’t need that. Ilosovic’s now one of us!”   
  
He tilted his head a fraction, listening expectantly for  _ the _ Alice’s answer.

It came more angrily and disbelievingly than he’d expected as she spat.   
  
“Never!”   
  
“I am though.” Ilosovic finally said, giving the smallest smile. “Greetings Champion of Underland, may the sun smile on your way and the wind always cool your face.”   
  
He then asked the dormouse. “Mally dear, where is the teapot, I should serve our guest as it’s the proper protocol?”   
  
Mallymkun apparently caught on and scrambled down Stayne’s arm, straddled his wrist and announced. “Klotchyn! Sloth, stang, noge!” *   
  
Ilosovic almost laughed as Mally used all their usual Outlandish fighting commands to direct him and he actually chuckled as he took hold of the teapot and Mally cheered, slapping his wrist in triumph.   
  
“Lady Alice, may I offer you tea?” Ilosovic drawled, lifting the pot up while Mally kicked his wrist, like one would a horse, to direct him towards an empty and clean cup.   
  
He heard Alice move, but apparently not to sit down as Thackery suddenly bellowed - Stayne almost dropped the teapot - infuriated. “Alice, it’s not proper to just walk into the host's house while he’s offering you tea!”   
  
Ilosovic would have gaped at the hare if he could. But alas, he couldn't see a thing - not even blobs recently, only light and dark. Stayne’s mouth dropped open and he tilted his head to the side.   
Mally clung to his wrist as he placed the teapot back on the table with a thud.

“That was the longest sane sentence I heard him say since I know him.”   
Mally stated, patting Stayne’s thumb.   
Ilosovic merely nodded.   
  
“Lady Alice, I would really prefer if you would wait with us,” he made a gesture including all of them, “out here, for Tarrant and the Queen. They should be here any moment.”

He really didn’t like the thought of her going in the house and finding his sword on the table.

And to come back with it.   
  
“Why is it,” Alice’s voice was now floating over to Stayne, “that they have to point out to you where the things are?”   
  
Ilosovic almost bristled, but then remembered that  _ the _ Alice hadn’t been in Underland for a while.   
Mally once again took it up herself to answer, “he’s blind. Sadly.”   
  
Ilosovic nodded and added bitterly, “yes, that sums it up nicely. Can’t see a thing. Well, I can tell if it’s day or night, but not much more.”   
  
There was a disbelieving huff from Alice and then Ilosovic heard a teacup opposite him clatter and Mally kicked his wrist into action again.   
They managed to fill up the cup without a single splash over the brim.   
  
“Why are you sitting here, having tea with Hatter’s friends?”   
  
Ilosovic frowned and replied icily. “They happen to be my friends too!  And his name’s Tarrant Hightopp and not Hatter!”   
  
“And they’re coming!” Briar huffed from beside Ilosovic and hopped down bounding towards Tarrant and the Queen with happy barks. 

And usually Ilosovic would get up and follow her. But not so much today.

He didn’t want to imagine what would happen if he was walking towards Tarrant with his blindman’s cane in hand.

There were enough things on the table for Alice to throw.   
  
“Hello Briar,” Ilosovic could hear Tarrant greet their friend, and then, while he undoubtedly scratched her chin, “where did you leave Ilosovic, huh?”   
  
“He might be afraid to end up with a cup to his head from our unexpected guest?”   
  
Then there was a happy outcry and Alice, Ilosovic heard her cup clatter, left the table.   
  
“They’re hugging,” he was informed by Mally who’d hopped down from his wrist after they’d filled Alice’s cup.

  
Ilosovic pushed himself up and reached for his cane, then walked into the house, slamming the door with a bit more force than he’d intentioned.    
Once inside he flopped into a kitchen chair, head in hands. At least he was not forced to see them.   
  
He didn’t sit there for long as the door was opened again and he could feel Tarrant’s arms slide around him.    
“Stop that Ili. You know that I love  _ you _ !”   
  
“No I actually do not know,” he replied a tad too bitter. “It’s not that you have  _ ever _ told me so.”    
He regretted the words as soon they’d slipped out and placed one of his hands atop Tarrant’s on his chest.   
“Apologies, that was uncalled for. You show me plenty.”   
  
“No, no.” Ilosovic could feel how Tarrant shook his head and then the hatter placed his chin atop Ilosovic’s shoulder, cheek against cheek. “You’re so very right. I always waited for the right moment, and today…”   
  
Tarrant fell silent and Ilosovic lifted one of his hands to his lips, kissing the palm. “And today?”   
  
Tarrant took a deep breath. “And today, Alice showing up threw all of my plans.”   
  
Ilosovic perked up at this, “you had plans,Tarrant?”   
  
“I had.” Tarrant happily added, “still have actually. Alice might not like them, but you might like them. Mirana certainly liked them. I hope you like them too. Although I’m not sure you’ll agree…”   
  
Ilosovic caught the hand which had slipped out of his as Tarrant began to fidget again and pressed another kiss into its palm, added a small nip.    
Tarrant gasped and stopped rambling.   
  
“Thank you Ili, I’m fine.”   
  
“Oh, I know,” Ilosovic nodded, “I’m just too curious to wait until you spit it out on your own, sweetling.”   
  
He felt as Tarrant turned his head to smile right against his neck, then there was a soft kiss.    
“You’ll have to wait until we’re back out at the tea table.” More gentle kisses were placed against Ilosovic’s cheek. “The Queen has to make an announcement first.” Tarrant’s hand slipped into Ilosovic’s hair and stroked carefully. “I sent for the rest of our friends if you don’t mind?”   
  
Ilosovic just shook his head, “it’s fine, Tarrant.”   
  
“I  _ do _ love you, Ilosovic Stayne.” Tarrant’s voice trickled into his ears, gentle and soft. “My eyes are all lavender and gold. Just for you.  _ Only _ for you.”   
  
Ilosovic let out a content sigh and tugged on the hand he still held, pulled Tarrant around and finally hugged him.   
  
“We’re mad. Both of us.”   
  
“I concur.”   
  


 

 

 

  
*Pay attention! Slowly, right, go low down   



	2. Chapter 2

They came back outside, Tarrant leading Ilosovic by the the arm, only to be greeted by the rest of the Hightopp’s and their assembled friends.   
  
“Ilosovic!”   
  
He turned his head towards the White Queen and bowed slightly. “Mirana! How have you been?”   
  
She laughed tinglingly and he felt her moving towards him, then her hand was placed upon his forearm.    
And he didn’t tense up anymore. They  _ were _ friends by now. Weren’t they?   
  
“I do have an announcement to make. I would like for you to stay here for a moment?”   
  
Why did she ask him? She was the queen, she could just order Stayne to stay where he was.   
  
Tarrant squeezed his arm and Ilosovic nodded and clenched his fingers a bit harder around his blindman’s cane. Only to have it taken away by Tarrant.   
  
“We are gathered here today.” The queen began and Zanik Hightopp’s voice drifted up.   
  
“They cannot make it official. Stayne still is on probation!”   
  
Ilosovic would have laughed at Tarrant’s father suspecting them to announce their togetherness officially if not for Tarrant’s hand sliding down into his and the hatter speaking up.   
  
“Well, this is where you are wrong, father.”   
  
Ilosovic turned his head towards Tarrant, giving him a slight frown, but Mirana’s voice kept him from speaking.   
  
“As I said,” she picked up, “we are gathered here today, so I can announce my decision. And my decision is to reinstate Ilosovic Stayne as a lawful, fully redeemed citizen of Underland.”   
  
Stayne’s jaw dropped and he bowed, even forgetting for a moment that his and Tarrant’s hands were still joined.   
  
His voice was full of awe and happiness as he finally spoke, “Thank you, my Queen!”   
  
There were several cheers from their friends as he straightened up again and Stayne bowed towards the noise too.   
And then Tarrant tugged on his hand, demanding Ilosovic’s attention and he could feel the hatter step as close as was publically decent.   
“Come down here,” there was a tug on Ilosovic’s hair and he complied. “I need to ask you first, you know?”   
  
“To ask me what?”   
  
“To ask you if you’d mind a second announcement.” Tarrant murmured, brogue slipping into his voice. “I’d like to make  _ us _ as official as possible in Underland. More than just you wearing my crest and colours, luv.”   
  
It was the the ‘luv’, crooned in heavy brogue and in a pleading note Ilosovic had never heard from Tarrant before, which made him shake his head and pull Tarrant’s hand to his mouth.

And there, in front of everyone -  _ the Alice _ \- Ilosovic Stayne kissed each of Tarrant Hightopp’s fingertips, pressed a kiss to the center of his palm, placed the hatter’s hand on his heart, over the brand beneath his shirt and atop the Hightopp crest stitched on his vest, and then declared loud and clear, “I pledge myself to you, Tarrant.”   
  
Tarrant let out a strangled noise - to Ilosovic’s ears it almost sounded like a sob - then reciprocated the same gestures and breathless, almost entirely in Outlandish spoke, “As I pledge myself to you, Ilosovic.”   
  
Ilosovic felt Tarrant stare at him, their fingers still splayed over each others heart, hands atop each others, and there was nothing but silence.   
  
Until Mirana giddily demanded, “you must kiss to make it official, boys!”   
  
“Yes you must kiss!” Tarrant’s parents demanded in unison and then everyone of Ilosovic’s and Tarrant’s friends seemed to join the cheering.   
  
“Kiss! Kiss!  _ Kiss _ !”   
  
They didn’t move for a moment, then something - Ilosovic learned later it had been a spoon thrown by Thackery - hit Ilosovic in the back of his head and he pulled his wits back together, leaned down and offered his mouth to Tarrant.   
He didn’t have to wait for long, as there were almost immediately Tarrant’s lips claiming his own in a fervent kiss.   
  
“I’m going to futterwacken now! Vigorously.”   
  
Ilosovic laughed and let go of his hatter and nodded, “you do that, I’ll catch Mally and Briar so they can describe it to me!”   
  
He didn’t make it three steps before he was seized into a bearhug and Zanik declared, “welcome to the family, laddie!”   
  
Ilosovic, after a lot of hugs, paw and hand shaking, made it to his seat, where he finally was found by Mally.    
She scaled his shoulder and then patted his ear, “klotchyn! Tarrant’s going to futterwacken!”*   
  
He felt someone sit down beside them while everyone cheered Tarrant on and Mally gave him a running commentary.    
Ilosovic tensed though, when Alice asked, “what did I just witness?”   
  
Ilosovic thought about his answer, there was no need to be cruel to her. No need to be jealous. Tarrant was his as much as he was Tarrant’s. They were officially a  _ them _ .   
  
“I believe,” he began very tentatively, “where you are from, it would be called a  _ marriage _ ?”   
  
He wasn’t sure about this though. He’d never cared much for Above. Not with his whole world being down here.   
  
“We call it a ‘declaring of togetherness’.”   
  
  
  
*Listen up; pay attention


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my few readers!  
> It's a honor you stuck around for so long!   
> Rose

_ “We call it a ‘declaring of togetherness’.” _ __  
__  
Ilosovic could feel the tension roll of off Alice in little waves as she seemed to realize what it meant.   
  
“So, how long…” and then silence followed.   
  
“Alice,” Mally spoke up, “he can’t see you gesturing.”   
  
Ilosovic could hear Alice take a deep breath, then the words came, low and truthful. “ _ You _ hurt him,  _ I _ kill you.”   
  
Stayne nodded, “this is an acceptable threat.”   
  
His thoughts trailed off for a moment, wondering if anyone would give Tarrant the same stern words. He snapped back at a hard tug on his hair and to the feel of Mally using his earlobe to stretch up so she could speak whisper-loud straight into his ear.   
  
“Don’t you worry, I told Tarrant I would stab him in his sleep if he pulls the same trick twice.”   
  
Stayne chuckled touched, then asked, “speaking of Tarrant, where is he? Isn’t it traditional to dance?”   
  
“I am right here!”   
  
Ilosovic turned his head to Tarrant’s voice, dimly aware of Mally sliding off his shoulder and onto Chessur. Once he held his hand up and Tarrant had a safe grip on him, Stayne got up and let Tarrant lead him into the open space of their garden.   
  
“And now, sweetling?” Ilosovic was already swaying to the music the hatter’s gramophone played, something slow and otherworldly, most certainly form Above.   
  
“Now we dance.”   
  
And so they did, Ilosovic losing himself in the slow turns, in which Tarrant’s pulls and pushes led him, wishing for once to be a little shorter to be able to rest his chin onto Tarrant’s head, or steal a kiss.   
  
The music ended and Ilosovic dared to lower his head, bend forward a bit and was rewarded with a small kiss. Then Tarrant stepped away but let him know, “The Queen’s turn to dance with you, I’ll dance with her later, you know,” and the hatter chuckled, “traditions!”   
  
Ilosovic nodded, a slight smile playing on his lips, then offered his hand up and felt Mirana place hers in his.   
  
“My Queen.” He tilted his head in a bow, “it is an honor.”   
  
Mirana let out a tinkling laugh, then fell silent and Ilosovic could feel how she tried to look around him. What was she looking at?   
Only a moment later Alice’s voice drifted over to them and he  _ knew _ .   
  
Stayne almost shook his head. How had he missed the clues? It had always been ‘Alice this, Alice that,  _ my _ Champion here,  _ my _ Champion there’, at the tea parties.   
  
“It is nice that Underland’s champion has returned, isn’t it?” He tried to sound indifferent and even let a small smirk slip as Mirana answered by craning her neck and almost tripping, if not for Ilosovic’s hold.   
  
“It is very fortunate, makes this event even more joyful, Ilosovic.”   
  
  
He slid back into his seat, led there by Briar, and gave a nod to where Alice - he heard her speak to Thackery - still sat and stated, “you should ask the Queen to dance, you are her champion after all!”   
  
There was a sarcastic huff in her answer, “Above it’s improper for two women to…”   
  
Stayne cut her off with a biting laugh. “Since when do you care about what Above expects? And besides, this is  _ my  _ and  __ Tarrant’s  ‘wedding’. Last I checked we were both very much of the same sex.” He gave his voice a softer ring for the next part. “And beside it is tradition and would make her Majesty happy!”   
  
“On your word Stayne.”   
  
Ilosovic smiled a little as he heard Alice get up and then felt Chess slide around his neck.   
  
“Dressed like a man, a Captain, Absolem said, but doesn’t want to dance with a pretty lady, what do you say?”   
  
Stayne shook his head, “I can’t well see how she was dressed and I bet I’d lost my hand if I’d tried to find out.”   
  
“Probably.” The cat floated around Ilosovic’s head, the magic involved ruffling his hair. “Would you like to know what’s happening?”   
  
Ilosovic shrugged, “you tell me!”   
  
Instead of Chessur, Mally’s voice drifted from the point where Ilosovic felt the Cheshire cat. “They’re stepping on each others toes, but now Mirana took the lead and Alice follows. At least it looks like dancing now.”    
  
Ilosovic could not hold back the smirk as he tilted his head towards cat and mouse.

  
  
  
  



End file.
